I would like to take this opportunity to extend my best wishes for the Festive Season, whether you are Christian, Atheist, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist or Rastafarian. In particular I extend my thanks to you all for reading my blog this year. The support, encouragement, ideas and feedback I have received from everybody has been truly gratifying. My posts have been few in the last two months due to an overload of public service paperwork required by my profession as a teacher. Because of your fantastic support I will aim for one or two stories per week in the New Year.
I failed miserably with my class of wonderful Danish students from Aalborg in two things. First I totally failed to convert them into happy little vegemite’s. Universally they hate it. They think it tastes like shit. In fact that was my first Danish word, “Lort”. It tastes like lort with salt they said. One of them wanted to take a few jars back as presents to reek revenge on friends. Another thought it was illegal in Denmark and if it wasn’t it should be.
They arrived 18 weeks ago, milk white and freaked out to be in a country that has more poisonous snakes and spiders than anywhere else in the world. They left bronzed beach lovers still confused by Australian slang. Was a “good piece of crumpet” a breakfast food or a pretty girl? It’s both mate didn’t help. They left in board shorts, thongs (not the underwear kind) and T shirts to arrive home to minus five degrees. It doesn’t get that cold in the average Australian refrigerator. If you want a piece of Denmark this time of year sit in your fridge for 30 minutes. A form of extreme bonding.
My next failure was to excite them about cricket. No matter how hard I tried I could not excite them about our wonderful summer game. Best of luck today everybody in your back yard test matches. When I told my nephew I reckoned I could still take him down like I could when he was a little kid I got this reply:
“HaHa, merry Xmas to you numb nuts. I hereby accept your backyard cricket challenge and will commence bodyline training immediately. All challengers will be required to bring their own bat and ball and I recommend you bring a box uncle. “
I couldn’t entice the Danes even with the mathematics of Mitchell Johnson bowling at 155 kilometres an hour over 22 yards. The batsman has milliseconds to decide whether to play the ball forward or back. Nah it’s boring they said. How can you play a game that takes five days to play and even then its likely nobody wins? Trying to describe the variable unknowns of a wickets wear over the five days of a test match being a highly strategic part of the game was totally lost on them.
I will try harder with next year’s group. Thank you once again, one and all.